Soprano: Look how in-control my bowel is. Clearly I know where my towel is. Alto: What if all I do is shit. How do they put up with it? Tenor: Push and push and I'll improve. Know my shit my bowel will move. Bass: Everyone poops. All: If everyone poops… Soprano & Tenor: Maybe I'm no better than them Alto & Bass: Maybe I'm no worse than them All: Maybe I am just as good.

[1 2 3] You can play the Peano axioms. Your successor will never fail. But if you ain't got nothing you ain't got enough so you start lower down the scale [0 1 2] Well you've now got zero problems. You can count on every fact. You can add without an end but exceed your subtrahend or you'll find you can't subtract [-1 0 1] So you add in the minus integers. Zero gains another side. You can add and take away, but not conquer all the way 'cause you can't always divide. [⅕,⅓, ¼] Now your system is highly rational, no division you can't deal. But no matter what you do, you can't find the root of two though you know that it must be real. [ɸ, e, π] So you fill all the gaps with irrationals. You have a solid number line. Solve ab-surd-ities at will but you're out of square roots still when you start with a minus sign [1+⅕i] So you use your imagination. You take the square of your mind's i. Your calculations never stall, but you wonder if that's all that this complex plane can fly. [triangles, snares, cats] The operations work on all numbers, but is that all they can do? They apply to other things; now you've groups and fields and rings to apply that structure to.

Introduction: Mathematicians struggle even today to learn about the average distance between the endpoints of a self-avoiding walk. French physicist Pierre-Gilles de Gennes found answers by transforming the problem into a question about something called the n-vector model when the n is zero. But since this implies vectors with zero dimensions, mathematicians reject the approach as non-rigorous. Here we find that zero waking up next to its cherished n-vector model after a night of illicit osculation. Zero: I am just a zero; I am hardly worth a mention. I null your vector model figure, discarding your dimension, and every night I’m here with you I fear the break of day, when day breaks our veneer of proof, and we must go away. Here by your side till alba warns the clock. Fear’s why I hide in a self-avoiding walk. N-vector model: Let the transformations of De Gennes show your place. Never let them say we’re a degenerate case. When I’m plus-two-n there’s just too many ways to move, But you’re my sweetest nothing and we’ve got nothing to prove. Here by your side till alba warms the clock. Fear can’t divide; it’s a self-avoiding walk. Watchman: The sun has come; your jig is up. It’s time for peer review. You think your secret union has engendered something new. You thought you would both find a proof, but is it you’re confusing The sorta almost kinda-truths the physicists are using? That’s not rigorous, says alba’s voice in shock. All but meaningless to the self-avoiding walk. Zero and N-vector model together: If you say that our results don’t matter, then go straight to find a better path. For as long as you insult our data, Is it wrong to say you’re really math? Hey there, Rigorous at alba poised in shock, you are just like us, in a self-avoiding walk.